Praise be to Goodwill Stores

Going to the mall is kinda painful lately.  Apparently, it’s not enough that I already live in Miami and am frequently surrounded by muffin topsAmerican Apparel cut-outs, chongas and (wanna-be) MILFs and chulos.  It seems that the fashion industry has decided to make clothing more annoying and maladjusted than the various metropolitan personas that have popped up in the past few years…

::Enters old fogy mode::

I remember when PacSun used to be better known as Pacific Sunwear and their clothing didn’t suck; when they sold a little more variety; when the clothing was comfortable; when walking in there didn’t mean that you’d be blinded by neon all over the place.

It’s not just PacSun.  I simply happened to be in there when certain thoughts came to mind regarding current fashion trends.  And then while walking through the rest of the mall, I felt assaulted by everything I saw– not that I saw any of it for the first time, but it all seemed to pop, like a very bad pimple.  Teenage boys wearing far too much (fake) gold and other shiny, supposedly very heterosexual/masculine jewelry.  Shoes that look as if the 80s took a shit on them.   Young women’s clothing that looks like little girls’ clothing and little girls’ clothing that looks like young women’s clothing (aaaahh!).  And why are all the t-shirts so long now?  Not all of us wear impractically low-rise jeans that require an extra long shirt to cover our cracks and/or undies; not all of us are 5’7″, the height required for those shirts to actually look good; Target has forced me to shop in their little girls’ section just to find a top that fits (fortunately, this is cheaper); I want my shirt to end just below my navel, not my ass, damnit!  I was watching a teenage girl try a t-shirt on and ask her friends for feedback, which of course was neither here nor there– I wanted to tell her, “It looks weird because it doesn’t fit well!  Nothing in the store fits well, damnit!  It’s not proportionate to eighty percent of the population, especially you, my curvy-petite-mestiza friend!” Then there are the blouses and tank tops that flare out (a la free-flowing hippie style?) beyond the flattering limits, to the point where they look like mumus.  When did poor fitting become trendy?  Why are people accentuating their bodies in the most unflattering ways possible?  Why are all the colors SO OBNOXIOUS and NEON?

And “Sassy Assy Shoes”— really?


~ by rabbit on June 22, 2009.

One Response to “Praise be to Goodwill Stores”

  1. Ahhhh i love this

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