Sometimes, Nature just doesn’t care.

You have the body of a Bratz Doll*: ultra-long appendages, small torso, and a push-up bra that seems to be an extension of your personality… and the face of some small wild mammal– maybe a meerkat (sorry meerkats).  You’ve worn those hideous boot-sandal hybrids, a visible thong (which I thought went out of style when high school ended), and a sleeveless flannel shirt** (wtf? Lumberjack?).  You have the I.Q. of a Cheeto.  You ask the stupidest questions in class, and don’t seem to realize that the silly foreign man is not going to give you a clear, direct answer– EVER.  I can hear the music coming from your earbuds, which defeats their purpose, and I can tell it sucks ass.  And now you’ve TAKEN MY SEAT??  All these things on their own I can handle, but COME ON.  Were you spawned from MTV and a Pop-Tart??  How do you live with yourself?!  Waste of space you are, you dingleberry!

*Nothing really wrong with having that kind of body, but when your brain matches… y’know.
**I like flannel and plaid, but unless you’re a butch lesbian or Chuck Norris, wear it with sleeves.

~ by rabbit on September 15, 2009.

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