Not just for nothing anymore!

I used to think  the SAT was useless.  I used to think it rode on the same short bus as the FCAT for which many high school hours were wasted in preparation.  While taking the SAT, I died emotionally, fell into a state of conscientious comatose.  When I woke up, I had forgotten about the exam.  Pushed it out of my memory.  When the scores came back, I said, “What is this poppycock?  What is this ‘stan-dar-dized a-cheev-ment’ stuff?” and then made origami swans with them.

But recently, my SAT scores made a second coming.  A glorious, ray-of-light-shining-through-the-clouds reawakening.   See, after my battle with statistics and finite math this spring, I was lost and confused in terms of whether my C and B- would suffice so that I could graduate and burn the school down.  See, there are various complex, non-sensical rules regarding basic curriculum math scores.  These rules are made up so that people who do not meet the standards have to repeat classes that are totally irrelevant to their major so that the school can get more money from tuition fees.  Clever.  My English department advisor and the math department advisor were… for lack of a better term… useless?  (Sorry, Mr. English advisor.  That’s not really true.  It’s the system, right?  Yeah.  Wink, wink.)  There was a lack of information.  Not surprised.  So I went to the main advising center where people know things.  Important, life-changing things that us commoners would normally be ignorant of.  Bastards.  Anywho, long story short.  Turns out my SAT scores waived me from having to meet those aforementioned standards of doom.  I think my eyes welled up in front of the advisor I talked to.  I shook her hand, told her, “This is one of the best days of my life… where’s my diploma?”

FYI, I skipped the graduation ceremony.  I thought about it, knew that it would make my family happy.  But I couldn’t stomach the thought of paying to sit around for three hours, wearing a hat that would be unflattering on my head, just to have my name called and walk across the stage for ten seconds.  (Caring is not one of my stronger talents.)   Time and money will be better spent tonight with my awkward family, having a zagat-rated meal in a gay-owned restaurant.  Sweet.

My diploma arrived in the mail the week I found out I was liberated.  I made an origami swan.

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~ by rabbit on June 13, 2010.

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